She Was Gone
by Peices of my heart
Summary: [Mudclaw fic] [There’s nothing left for me...My life is dying inside of this body, because she is passing away]


She was gone. It was too hard to forget as I curled in my nest as the new deputy of WindClan. Terrible images of the day rushing through my head, blood, death, and betrayal, and most of all, the one who had kill her. I am trying to forget now, I and trying to force you out of my memory, but you're still there, lingering like a cobweb in a corner of a Medicine Cats den. Bits and pieces of you still there, calling my name, calling my to forgive you.

I remember the battle, we rushed in side by side, Deadfoot was alive then. Did you love your father? That's a stupid question, of course you did. But what about your mother, who was in the nursery at that time? She was pregnant with her second litter, remember? Yes, you did remember.

Remember the blood and the chaos? We were separated while I was fighting with Onewhisker. Tornear was struck down. I was running around, looking for you when Jaggedtooth appeared. He had run away from Firestar and Graystripe and strait into me, tackling me and pinning me to the ground. I never felt so scared in my life. Did you feel scared? I don't know.

But I threw him off, were you relieved then? And I started to fight Jaggedtooth. He was a strong opponent, and I hardly managed to kill him, but my mind was on you. Were you alright? When I last saw you, you were so terribly wounded it was scary. It was my fault, I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

I pad outside of the den now and into the moonlight where it turns your fur silver. Are you alright? Are you in peace now? I want to walk over and touch you one last time, but I can't. It's too hard. So I walk away, forcing myself to forget about you. I walk into the moonlight outside the camp. The moor in the night reminds me of you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

And then he appears, my worst enemy. A big black and gray tabby. Not Darkstripe, I don't know what his name was, only that he was fierce, too much for me to handle. I was loosing. Badly. He had me pinned when you arrived.

I can't get over the shock when it happened. He reared up to kill me when you leapt on his back and bit into his neck. Only you didn't kill him. He threw your off and went after you, biting into your neck. There was blood, so much blood I threw up on the field. But you still fought, and finally you reached up with your claws and dug them into his neck, tearing out his fur and letting his blood mix with yours, in a suicidal revolt against BloodClan.

I remember running up to you and pushing him away. You were so helpless there. You weren't dead, but you were crossing. So, I curled around you and gently licked you when Deadfoot stumbled over and hissed at me.

"Mudclaw, get to your paws and fight to save the forest!" He growled, tanking on my scruff. I slash at him bitterly, striking a narrow cut in his cheek.

"There's nothing left for me, Deadfoot!" I was almost crying, "My life is dying inside of this body, because she is passing away!" Deadfoot paused and looked down at her, then turned away and walked off. I pressed deep into her fur, listening to her breaths grow shallower and shallower. Please go peacefully, please don't kill me.

"Mud…claw." She whispered, looking up at me with her beautiful, beautiful green eyes, "Please… don't forget… me."

I tried to say yes, I wouldn't, but the words would not come out. No matter how hard I forced they stayed lodged in my throat. I tired to, honestly. But they wouldn't. Then I heard the words "Scourge is dead!" and every cat was fleeing. They passed by us without a glance. Though one or two still killed as they ran. One of them struck down Deadfoot, another slashed at my friend and former apprentice Webfoot.

I felt you, you were dead then.

Now I pad back inside the camp, and over to your body. I can't forget you, no matter what. My heart had gone to StarClan with you, and not it's my time to share tongues with you. I press my nose into your fur and whisper finally, "I won't forget you, I never will… Runningbrook."


End file.
